What to do when you can’t speak your truth - Part 1

Losing access to your inner voice: it happens to a lot of people – you know what you have to say and it’s stuck inside your body. 

If you prefer to listen here’s the podcast version of this post on iTunes and Souncloud.

If you were unable to stand up for yourself or speak aloud something that was trapped inside your head, I know how this feels – it’s traumatizing. It’s like you are doing it to yourself and you are the cause of your own pain, which in turn makes you feel ashamed. This can set up a heavy behavioral loop that compounds a new truth: I am hopeless. I am a liar. I am invisible. I am a coward. No one can see me suffering. No on can help me, including me.  

Well let’s get to some positive information, shall we? There are 3 parts, the what why and how – the tools.  Before I go into this one, I don’t want you to go into any memories that might leave you feeling raw and upset. So use your best judgment – if this goes too deep, then stop reading and watch Ratatouille – or Zootopia!

Part 1: The What

When we don’t act even though we know we should, or we don’t speak up and we regret it. Maybe you talked yourself out of saying something or doing something that you really desperately wanted to say. It can feel like fear – like you are paralyzed and hoping if you don’t move you can disappear or this will be less real.  Or, like a brief moment of extreme ambivalence: like you’re telling yourself to do something but simultaneously telling yourself “you can’t” or “you won’t” or “it’s too late.” Maybe your situation is confidence-related: you wanted to stand up for someone or yourself, and you couldn’t. Or maybe you were frozen in place, watching what was happening but from a distant and indifferent state. In retrospect, you realize you knew better or wanted something different and this fact makes you hurt.

Part 2: The Why coming up next!